| The following is a gift. It was shared with me as a "thank you" from my friend of many years and I love her perspective. I asked if I can share it, and she happily agreed. Lisa, you've always made me smile, but with this one, you also made me cry...in the very best way, for the sweetest reason. Thank you!!! --Missy Lisa St. Pierre is a favorite middle school math teacher to many and an independent, confident, self-proclaimed foodie. She is a wife, a mom, and now a guest blog author. In her spare time she likes to.... oh, right; one year old twins. In her spare time, she likes to go to the bathroom, brush her teeth, and shower! The following are her words. |  Photo by Kristen Scott |
YOU NEED THIS!
Never in a million years did I think I was in need of a doula. I thought it was for a certain "type"-- words like privileged, organic, natural, or overly concerned come to mind. I feel horrible that I likely offended some friends in various random conversations in the past, and let me be the first to say I was wrong and I was judgmental. Everyone can benefit from this service!
So, I happen to have a friend in the business and have known about doulas, through her, for years. Although I knew she "helped" people on the day of delivery, I only knew what she did on a very basic, surface level...until I was lucky enough to experience it for myself. Missy offered her services and I awkwardly tried to structure what I thought would be a compromise between receiving help, not hurting her feelings, and not feeling like the situation would be too intimate and/or intrusive for me and my husband. So I basically set up a few hours of help. She could come visit me when I was in the hospital.
Background information: I was going to be a first time mother at 40, with blood clotting issues. I went through IVF and was now having twins --and I still didn't think I needed help. That explains my stubborn resistance to this help, and my lack of openness to new things. I married late and truly, although I envisioned them all my life, I thought that children were out of the picture for me. This was a very special day that I knew in my heart would only happen once. I wanted to preserve it and felt pressure to make all the right decisions to make it special.
So, I happen to have a friend in the business and have known about doulas, through her, for years. Although I knew she "helped" people on the day of delivery, I only knew what she did on a very basic, surface level...until I was lucky enough to experience it for myself. Missy offered her services and I awkwardly tried to structure what I thought would be a compromise between receiving help, not hurting her feelings, and not feeling like the situation would be too intimate and/or intrusive for me and my husband. So I basically set up a few hours of help. She could come visit me when I was in the hospital.
Background information: I was going to be a first time mother at 40, with blood clotting issues. I went through IVF and was now having twins --and I still didn't think I needed help. That explains my stubborn resistance to this help, and my lack of openness to new things. I married late and truly, although I envisioned them all my life, I thought that children were out of the picture for me. This was a very special day that I knew in my heart would only happen once. I wanted to preserve it and felt pressure to make all the right decisions to make it special.
Soothing foot massage (Photo by Lisa St. Pierre) Fast forward to the day of my scheduled induction. Missy appeared in my room minutes after my call that I was ready for her to come "visit" for a few hours. From the second she arrived, she started to weave herself in and out of moments seamlessly, between my family, my nurses, my doctor, even my camera, my receiving outfits, and my incredibly sore feet! She just quietly stepped in. It was as if she was in my mind. She knew what I needed before I even asked, and she knew what I needed when I didn't even know.
I went though 24 hours of (luckily) painless labor with my birthing plan switching from a vaginal birth to a Cesarean section. Missy did all she could to help me when both plans were in place, and her presence and experience made the transition seem and feel OK.
I went though 24 hours of (luckily) painless labor with my birthing plan switching from a vaginal birth to a Cesarean section. Missy did all she could to help me when both plans were in place, and her presence and experience made the transition seem and feel OK.
What I thought was going to be a few hours of "help" from Missy turned into over 24 hours! I didn't want her to go and I was hoping that my moronic plan of a few hours would be ignored and never spoken of again! That's exactly what happened. Missy was there from beginning to end doing things I didn't even know were being done, that have since been discovered now that I'm out of twin-baby-fog. It's all documented. The day was amazing, but it was also a blur. Missy helped me to fill in the blanks.
| Missy gave me emotional gifts that only her services could while I concentrated on my body and its needs (with her support and wisdom). She freed my exhausted and supportive husband to be able to stay in contact with both sets of our parents in the waiting room and with family members who were desperate for phone updates. He had the gift of not feeling torn because he wasn't tending to me. He got to rest, eat, and even play euchre with them! |  Happy BIRTH Day! (Photo by M. Kacy) |
Missy noticed my homemade knitted booties and hats from a dear friend, and set them up in the warmer that was waiting for my babies and took keepsake pictures of them. She massaged my feet, even though I normally feel bad when I'm being pampered. She had a popsicle "toast" with my nurse and me. She even went to the waiting room and made a video of what my family was doing and asked them questions, and to share words of encouragement with me. She asked me if I wanted to know exercises and positions that might give me relief. She was just there. A presence I never knew I needed.
So take it from someone who thought having a doula was for "those" people; for the elite, the overly worried, the incredibly natural. Shut that voice off! We are all "those" people. Those who deserve to receive that love and support from someone who is experienced, who will make an already special day exponentially MORE SPECIAL.
Allow her wisdom and experience to relax you, inform you, comfort you, and help you create positive memories for you and your family.
So take it from someone who thought having a doula was for "those" people; for the elite, the overly worried, the incredibly natural. Shut that voice off! We are all "those" people. Those who deserve to receive that love and support from someone who is experienced, who will make an already special day exponentially MORE SPECIAL.
Allow her wisdom and experience to relax you, inform you, comfort you, and help you create positive memories for you and your family.
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