Never in a million years did I think I was in need of a doula. I thought it was for a certain "type"-- words like privileged, organic, natural, or overly concerned come to mind.  I feel horrible that I likely offended some friends in various random conversations in the past, and let me be the first to say I was wrong and I was judgmental.  Everyone can benefit from this service!

So, I happen to have a friend in the business and have known about doulas, through her, for years.  Although I knew she "helped" people on the day of delivery, I only knew what she did on a very basic, surface level...until I was lucky enough to experience it for myself.  Missy offered her services and I awkwardly tried to structure what I thought would be a compromise between receiving help, not hurting her feelings, and not feeling like the situation would be too intimate and/or intrusive for me and my husband.  So I basically set up a few hours of help.  She could come visit me when I was in the hospital.

Background information:  I was going to be a first time mother at 40, with blood clotting issues.  I went through IVF and was now having twins --and I still didn't think I needed help.  That explains my stubborn resistance to this help, and my lack of openness to new things.  I married late and truly, although I envisioned them all my life, I thought that children were out of the picture for me.  This was a very special day that I knew in my heart would only happen once.  I wanted to preserve it and felt pressure to make all the right decisions to make it special.

Fast forward to the day of my scheduled induction.  Missy appeared in my room minutes after my call that I was ready for her to come "visit" for a few hours.  From the second she arrived, she started to weave herself in and out of moments seamlessly, between my family, my nurses, my doctor, even my camera, my receiving outfits, and my incredibly sore feet!  She just quietly stepped in. It was as if she was in my mind.  She knew what I needed before I even asked, and she knew what I needed when I didn't even know.  

I went though 24 hours of (luckily) painless labor with my birthing plan switching from a vaginal birth to a Cesarean section.  Missy did all she could to help me when both plans were in place, and her presence and experience made the transition seem and feel OK. ​

          Pregnancy? Labor and birth? Breastfeeding? Being a good parent?

                    We all question ourselves, which means WE CARE.  

Trust yourself, as much as I trust you.  Whether you are on this journey alone, or whether you have support.  You've got this!  Reaching out for guidance and validation is a sign of strength, not weakness, Sweet Dreamers.  Surround yourself with people who will support your choices and beliefs as a parent and feel your power.  It's perfectly normal to not always have people agree with your choices and decisions; that's OK.  Just stay strong, share knowledge (evidence-based is best), and know in your heart that your decisions are based on what is best for you and your baby.  

Glinda isn't easy to get ahold of these days...why don't you try a doula instead?            
          
          

     

I'm stepping out of my comfort zone here.  Writing a blog is not really anything I've ever planned to do.  I write all the time.  Usually it's in my journal, for my own eyes only. Occasionally to a close friend, who I already know and trust will love me unconditionally, no matter what I am rambling about that day.  When thinking about what to write about here, a concept that has made a true difference for me keeps leaping to the front of my thoughts.  Not "birthy" per se, but can certainly be applied to any kind of birth, whether it's for a new child, a new business, or a new perspective on life.  Read on, Sweet Dreamers...

The past year has been filled with disappointments.  It seems that one important person after another has left my life, I mean some real key players, and for the first time, I’ve struggled with trusting the universe, and “everything happens for a reason”, and all of that sparkly stuff I’m known for believing in.  I mean, my kids nicknamed me “Happy Bunny Rainbow Mom” a few years ago, and although I loved it, I don’t think it was meant to be a compliment.  Ha!  I was the queen of "cup half full" and it drove them crazy at times.  It was kind of who I was, and I felt proud of it, actually. Unfortunately for me, over the past year, that part of me had faded away and I got stuck in survival mode.

My smile disappeared, and my Sweet Dreams were fading in more ways than one.

I found myself just barely making it through each day emotionally intact, so I could be the best mom that I could, the best teacher, and still work on getting my Sweet Dreams business off the ground. (Thank goodness I am good at putting on my happy face in public, that was a tool I used often.) Although I had zero births in 2014 (worst year ever), I continued to work hard on my business and it's foundation.  I went to conferences, trainings, got certifications, networked, and even got a logo and created my website!  DREAM was my word last year, and I dreamt about making Sweet Dreams come true for me, as well as the families I work with.  

This year I needed something more proactive, and the word BELIEVE kept on worming its way into my heart.  It wasn’t enough to dream, but I had to believe in myself, believe in my dream, and believe that my passion for helping women become mothers and couples become families would become more of a reality.  You know what?  No sooner than I believed, truly, that life was about to get better, a friend reached out to me and asked if I would be her birth doula!  Honored, blessed, and so excited, I felt it starting; a shift in my universe.  Soon another friend reached out, word of mouth referrals started, and do you know, this year I have been blessed with being at five births so far, and I have at least two on deck for this summer?!  

My message for you is to BELIEVE.  Believe in the power of your worth.  Believe in the power of your dreams.  Believe in the power of yourSELF.  No matter what you wish for, and feel in your heart, know that your attitude and your intentions are felt by the universe. Whether it’s work, or parenting, or relationships, or pregnancy, or childbirth, or even writing a blog, just go for it!  

Dreams can’t come true if you don’t dream them in the first place…allow yourself to believe in the power of you!  (It would be so cool if Steve Perry started singing right now, "Don't Stop...Beleeeeeeeeeiving...")

So Sweet Dreamers, my inspirational word last year was dream.  This year it's believe.                                         What's YOUR inspirational word?  
Did you choose your word, or did your word choose you?  If you don't have one yet, it's not too late!  Go for it! Let us know, maybe you will inspire someone else with your thoughts.